


Home Is Where You Are

by DestielHardcoreLove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Daddy Kink, F/F, Fem Benny, Fem Dean, Fluff and Smut, Genderswap, Strap-Ons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 11:43:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15862950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove
Summary: Beni lived most of her life as a drifter, going from town to town picking up work wherever she could.  It isn't until she stops in Lebanon and meets a certain Winchester that she starts to feel like planting some roots for the first time.





	Home Is Where You Are

* * *

 

 

 

Beni pulled up to the diner and parked her bike in the closest available spot.  She hated to leave it so far away from the door but she didn’t exactly have a choice.  The diner was busy, the entire parking lot was swamped and now she was regretting the decision to not keep going on the road.  Sighing heavily she dragged her fingers through her short hair, making it sweep to one side as she walked towards the door. It was a small town with probably even smaller minds, they’d probably chase her out for the way she was dressed before she could order.  

 

The noise she could hear through the walls magnified when the door swung open, her hand catching it before it could close again.  The place was clean, smelled terrific and she couldn’t help smirking. It may have been a small town but she could easily see people of her own  _ kind _ .  Hell, there was even a damn rainbow flag behind the counter.  It was smaller than a paperback book but still, it was there. 

 

She took her time, looking around as she rolled the sleeves of her white button up to her elbows, showcasing the tattoos she had scattered all over her forearms.  They went all the way up to her shoulders and then down her back. Humming softly to the rock song blaring out through the stereo she finally made her way up to the bar and sat down on the stool.

 

Dee shook her head at the two boys makin’ eyes at one another in the back booth, “You boys keep it in your pants, Ellen catches you messin’ around back here you’ll wish it had been Pastor Laraby,” she warned, making both of them turn a little red.

 

It was adorable. 

 

“Ash, two burgers and fries and one giant milkshake for the little dove’s,” she called out, sliding the meal ticket onto the rack. 

 

Beni nodded her thanks to the bartender and sipped at her whiskey.  It was smooth with that deep burning sensation she loved. She was about to take another sip when a voice carried over the music and the hum of chatter from the other patrons.  Swiveling a bit on her stool she caught sight of a young woman with dark blonde hair tied up in a ponytail with a black handkerchief wrapped around her head. She only got a glimpse of the side profile but Beni was already intrigued.  Especially with that ass hugged so tightly by those jean capris. It only took another minute for the girl to show up again and this time Beni got the face to match the body.

 

“Damn,” Beni groaned, keeping her eyes glued to the girl as she bustled around the diner.

 

“Hey Bobby,” Dee said, turning the coffee cup in front of him over and pouring it fully. “Back for the view again today?” she asked, side-eying Ellen who was behind the counter. 

 

Bobby grumbled something under his breath, “I’m back for the coffee, that’s all Deanna,” he said, giving the girl a steady glare.

 

“Yeah, and I’m a polka dotted unicorn,” she answered, laughing a bit harder to herself before getting back to work. 

 

She moved fluidly around the room, though her feet were always sore at the end of the night, Dee loved working at the diner. Ellen had taken her sorry ass in when she was just a teenager and while Bobby had done what he could to teach her how to fix her own car, working on other people’s shitty rides wasn’t where she found her joy. In the diner, she could make people laugh, comfort them with warm words, a hug, or even just a plate of delicious food. She was able to watch people connect, watch them fumble through relationships, sometimes more than one, watch families be made, kids grow up. 

 

It had been about ten years since she first stopped in at that hole in the wall diner, and she hadn’t regretted a single day since. 

 

“You stare any harder she might catch fire,” a voice said a little close to Beni’s ear.  She jerked towards it and quirked up a brow. There was a snarky looking woman behind the bar.  The one who had served her from earlier probably gone for the night now.

 

“Doubt it.  I’ll take another, thanks,” she said.  The bartender snorted and filled up Beni’s glass.

 

“Just a heads up stranger, she may not need it or like it but we’re all pretty protective of each other here in this town,” the girl warned.  Beni quirked a brow again and shrugged.

 

“Ain’t lookin to make trouble, just stopped for a drink is all,” she said.  The bartender merely shrugged and moved on to another group a few stools down.  Beni shook her head and down her whiskey before her eyes caught the blonde on again.  She was beautiful in an old school way but Beni could see the sleeve of tattoos and that ever-present smirk on her face.  It was definitely something that sparked the fire within Beni. Sighing heavily she plopped down her glass, threw a few twenties down and got up to leave.  Best get moving on before it got too dark and she’d have to find a place to bunker down in. She was just about to get to the door when something crashed into her front, her hands instantly swooping down to catch the person before they face planted the ground.

 

“Whoa shit, darlin you alright?” she asked, helping the other girl stand only to freeze when she realized it was the one she’d been staring at for the past hour or so. 

 

Dee blinked a few times, her breath trapped tightly in her throat. She just stared for a minute, mind going blank beyond the bright blue eyes, short dark hair,  _ the ink _ .  _ ‘Yes,’ _ her body seemed to say, without any prompting from her brain because it wasn’t functioning at full capacity. 

 

It took a few beats but eventually, she was able to nod and hold herself up. “Sorry, yeah..yeah I’m fine...I uh, I didn’t get anything on you did I?” 

 

“Nah, don’t think so,” Beni said looking at her clothes to make sure.  Her jeans were already filthy from the ride so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway if a bit of food had landed on them.

 

“You take it easy cher,” she said with a wink and headed for the door again.

 

“Wait!” Deanna called out, rushing forward. She was unaware that she was reaching out until her hand collided with the hard curve of the girls’ shoulder. “I uh, sorry, I just, I didn’t catch your name…I’m Deanna, most people around here call me Dee.” 

 

“It’s nice to meet you Deanna,” Beni said and caught the girl’s hand that had touched her shoulder, “I’m Beni,” she said and then kissed the back of Deanna’s hand.

 

Deanna felt warm all over but she didn’t hesitate there long, Ellen would need her help cleaning up. “Come back soon, okay?” 

 

Beni grinned, looking around the diner before settling back on Deanna, “Most definitely,” she said and gave the girl another wink.  She watched as Deanna hurried off, rushing to catch up with her customers and Beni felt her smirk turn to something warmer. Yeah, she was definitely coming back here.

 

* * *

  
  


Deanna plopped down in front of the counter and looked up at Jo with sad eyes, her surrogate sister just rolled her own and poured a cup of coffee for her. 

 

“It’s your day off, what the hell are you even doin’ here? Don’t you get enough of this place when you’re working?” Jo asked. While she loved the diner too, she was itchin’ to get out of town the minute she was able. 

 

“I like it here, it keeps me calm,” Dee said, sipping gently from her cup. 

 

“Ash, can you make me a stack with extra sausage?” she called out to the back laughing when he answered her in Spanish. 

 

“So it’s got nothin’ to do with whoever it is you’ve been pining over the last few weeks?” Jo asked, with a raised brow. 

 

“I have not been  _ pining _ ,” Deanna lied, she’d hoped that Beni would have been back by now but if she had, she’d been pretty damn sneaky about it. 

 

Beni said a prayer of thanks that there was an available spot near the door this time.  It’d been a while since she was last here. Everything seemed to keep her further and further away but this time, she made it a point to make sure her travels included stopping at this particular diner.  Maybe it was the atmosphere or maybe it was the delicious whiskey. But most definitely, it was the girl.

 

Those damn green eyes had haunted her almost every night for the past few weeks and she was aching to see them again.  She had a plan to stay in town this time. There was a very real chance that Deanna could possibly not be there when Beni was and even though it was quite stalkerish, she was determined to see the girl again.

 

Beni dragged her fingers through hair, trying to give it some life after being stuck under her helmet for the past couple hours.  As she pushed through the door she unzipped her leather jacket and took in a deep breath of the food emanating from the place.

 

“I’ll have whatever he’s got cookin on the grill right now,” Beni called out with a wide grin.

 

“Beni!” Deanna said before she could stop herself. Something like relief swarmed over her and she moved forward without thought or intention. She wrapped her arms around Beni as if she were an old friend and only when she heard the warm chuckle against her chest did she realize just how awkward that probably was. 

 

“Sorry, sorry... I just, I hadn’t seen you come in or anything, so it uh, it’s good to um do that,” she said, rubbing nervously at the back of her neck. 

 

“It’s alright, not every day I get surprised attacked by a beautiful woman,” Beni said with a wink, “Sorry I haven’t had a chance to come in, shit kept getting in my way.  How are you darlin?” she asked following Deanna closer to the counter. There was a blonde behind it, her eyes wide and questioning as she looked between them.

 

“I uh, I’m good, just y’know, working...and um stuff,” Deanna said, not wanting to mention the utter lack of anything better to do. While she loved the little community they’d built there, it wasn’t exactly the epicenter of social activities. There was a bowling alley nobody ever really went to and yet somehow it managed to stay open, and a couple places where people went parking, not that she’d been in a while…

 

Shaking her head, she forced those thoughts away. “What about you? You must have been busy the last few weeks.” 

 

“Yeah, you could say that.  There’s always a job somewhere willing to hire someone short term,” Beni laughed, “Can I still order breakfast?” she asked, looking between Deanna and the blonde.  Deanna wasn’t wearing an apron or the black shirt the other waitress was wearing so she was safely assuming that Deanna wasn’t actually working.

 

“Ash make that two okay?” Dee called, out to the back before Jo could answer. The girl had a bit of a mouth on her and Deanna didn’t wanna take any chances on just what would have come out of it. 

 

“Pancakes and sausage okay?” Deanna asked, feeling her chest flutter a bit as she got a good look at Beni again. The woman was even more beautiful up close, or maybe it had just been too long and Dee had started to forget what she actually looked like. She couldn’t sort the differences between the images in her head,  _ the fantasies _ and the true memory. 

 

“More than okay,” Beni grinned.  A silence grew between them and it was only a little awkward because blondie was still staring at them.  Beni snorted out a laugh as she turned fully towards the blonde, “I’m Beni by the way, you are?” she asked.

 

“Jo, and I own a very extensive knife collection and  _ she _ ,” she said, pointing toward Deanna, “is my sister.” 

 

Deanna rolled her eyes, throwing the dishrag from the counter directly into Jo’s face. “I’m guessing you  _ want _ Ellen to find out about Kevin’s party this weekend?” Deanna hissed, under her breath, glaring back at her adoptive sister. 

 

Beni laughed softly, “It’s alright, I’ve heard my share of shovel talks.  I can take it. I am interested in that knife collection though,” she said reaching at her side to pull the sheath that house her long bowie knife, “What you think of this one?” she asked placing it in front of Jo.  As the blonde began to look it over Beni glanced at Deanna and gave her a wink.

 

Deanna felt something unfamiliar in her stomach. She’d been nervous around beautiful women before, men too, though usually less so. She’d never once reacted the way she did with Beni and she didn’t understand any of it. Now there was adrenaline and passion flooding through her and something else too, something she couldn’t put into words. 

 

“Not bad looks well taken care of at least. You’d have to clean and sharpen it regularly…” Jo said, gently brushing her finger across the sharp blade splitting the skin just a hair. Wow, yeah fuck that was sharp. It didn’t hurt, she didn’t even bleed it was just a bit of broken skin but still, she was impressed. “Okay, you can live.” 

 

Deanna rolled her eyes, “Don’t you have work to do?” 

 

Beni threw her head back and laughed at not only Jo’s assessment but the banter between the sisters.  It had been a long time since she’d been around people like them and it felt good. Jo gave Deanna a smart ass smile and scurried off to do something, leaving Beni and Deanna alone.

 

It was then the guy from the back brought out their food and Beni couldn’t stop staring.

 

“Dude, love the hair,” she said, smiling wide as she stabbed at a sausage with her fork.

 

Deanna groaned, “Don’t encourage him.” 

 

“What?  Mullets rock,” she teased, playfully pushing her leg against Deanna’s.  Mr. Mullet gave a bow before bopping back into the kitchen. Beni shook her head and shoveled some pancakes into her mouth.

 

“Man, this is good.  Haven’t had a decent, home-cooked meal in forever,” she groaned.

 

“Ash is a master in the kitchen, that’s for sure.” Deanna took a few small bites of her own meal, not that she was a dainty eater exactly, but part of her was too excited by Beni’s presence that she worried it would all just come back up. She figured she’d give herself a few minutes to calm down and then she’d be able to really dig in. “I used to work back there, we’ve all done our time with dishes and what not but I helped out with the food sometimes too. Not much anymore though, I like being out here, with the people.” 

 

‘I noticed that.  I’ll admit, I kinda had a starin problem the first night I was here,” Beni laughed, blushing just a little at the admission, “You’re real good though Dee, it didn’t matter who they were or how obnoxious they acted, you treated everyone the same.  It was kinda awesome to watch.”

 

“Oh I’m not anything special,” Deanna answered, shaking her head. “But it’s a good job, good tips, nice people,  _ gorgeous _ people when I’m lucky,” she said, smiling at Beni before ducking her head a bit and taking another bite of sausage.

 

“Oh yeah?  Where can I find these gorgeous people?” Beni teased back. She finished off her food and sighed sadly, wishing she could lick the plate without making a fool of herself.

 

“They don’t have mirrors where you’re from?” Deanna said, feeling herself flush a bit at her bravado but it made Beni laugh and that was enough. 

 

“Hard to look anywhere but at you right now cher,” Beni said softly and then laughed a little, “That was horrible, I’m so sorry,” she shook her head laughing a little more.

 

“That’s okay, you’re adorable enough that it might just work,” she teased, though it felt like anything  _ but _ a joke. Jo might have been right when she’d mentioned the pining earlier, Deanna would never admit it aloud of course, but it was still true. It was so rare that anyone she was truly interested in blew into town, nobody like  _ Beni _ ever had. 

 

Beni’s eyebrows rose as she gave Deanna a grin, "Aw, you think I’m adorable?” she asked, playfully nudging at Deanna’s leg again.  Beni was a natural flirt, it always came easy to her but for whatever reason with Deanna it seemed more genuine than it had with anyone else.  With others, it was a way to end the night in their bed. Beni was finding the more time she spent sitting next to this green-eyed beauty, she didn’t want that.  Just one night with this girl would not be nearly enough.

 

Deanna rolled her eyes, “Like you don't know it already,” she said, shaking her head, sipping at her lukewarm coffee. 

 

Instead of waiting for Jo to come back, Dee slipped behind the counter and grabbed the pot, refilling both their cups. 

 

“Deanna Michelle!” 

 

Dee winced internally but didn’t let it show on her face. 

 

“Sorry Miss Ellen,” she said, even though her grin was completely unapologetic. 

 

“She gets tetchy about people being behind the counter when not on shift, something about insurance rates or something. I don’t know, I usually tune out after the first ten minutes...well maybe five,” Deanna said, chuckling as she rushed back around the front side of the counter and back to Beni’s beautiful blue eyes. 

 

Beni chuckled, sipping at her coffee before adding another packet of sugar, “So Dee, tell me.  You busy today?” she asked finished off the last remnants of her breakfast before swiveling in her seat to fully face Deanna.

 

“Not at all,” she grinned, “Have something in mind?” 

 

“Thought about taking you out on a ride,” she said.  Deanna gave her a wary look that had Beni barking out a laugh, “Not that kinda ride cher but not that it’s not tempting or anything,” she grinned.  Beni threw a twenty on the bar and held out her hand towards Deanna, “You in?”

 

“With you? Always.” Deanna took the offered hand eagerly, fighting the flush on her cheeks as she reached back for the small jacket hanging over her chair. 

 

When they got outside Deanna looked around but Beni led her toward the side lot before she saw anything unfamiliar. When she did though, she whistled loudly. “Wow, that’s...wow.” 

 

“Deanna, meet Beau, Beau meet Dee,” Beni grinned as she swung her leg over her bike and sunk down in the seat.  She looked up to find Deanna staring, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Beni couldn’t help blushing a little and held her hand out again, “You gonna stare or join me?” she teased.

 

“Honestly? Not sure I can pick between the two right now. You look fucking hot like that. Well, not that you didn’t before, but damn,” Deanna said, forcing her eyes away long enough to slide onto the bike behind Beni. 

 

Beni ducked her face as the blush from before grew a bit stronger, “You’re not so bad yourself darlin,” she said, trying for teasing but it came out much softer than she intended.  To cover up her embarrassment she revved the bike. Deanna’s arms came around her waist and Beni bit her bottom lip before peeling out of the parking lot.

* * *

 

Beni stared down at her smartphone and wanted to the throw the thing.  She’d only ever had an ancient flip phone but Deanna all but demanded she upgraded.  Which, of course she did and it only served as a headache.

 

_ Message to Dee:  _ Darlin, I’m sorry I’m a few days late but I’ll hopefully be driving in on Friday.

_ Message to Dee:  _ This last job went a lot longer than I thought it would.

 

_ Unsent: Message to Beni _ : It’s been almost a month, Ben...I-

 

Deanna looked down at the message and felt her heart clench. The time she’d spent with her, potential girlfriend, she wasn’t sure anymore, it was wonderful. She felt like some stupid heroine in those old romance novels Ellen liked to read. Whenever Beni was there she was happier than she’d ever been before but then she’d leave, she  _ always  _ left, and every single time Deanna felt as if another piece of her was gone. 

 

_ Message to Beni:  _ Okay, see you soon. 

 

Beni stared down at the message and sighed heavily.  She didn’t need to see Deanna’s face to know she was pissed.  Beni was scraping as much money as she could right now and she almost had enough.  It was meant to be a surprise when she had the correct amount but now it seemed better to tell Deanna now.

 

She started to type out another message when she stopped and instead hit the phone icon with her thumb. It barely rang once before it clicked over.

 

“Hey cher,” she said softly.

 

“Hey,” Deanna answered, trying hard not to let her disappointment show but she knew there wasn’t much she could do to hide it. They’d been seeing one another for a few months but Beni would just fly through town for a few days, twist her world upside down and then she was gone again. Deanna trusted her enough that she wasn’t worried about anyone else being in the picture or a double life but it still hurt to know that Beni would rather be off working her  _ mysterious _ job than she would spending time with  _ her. _

 

“I knew you were mad at me,” Beni said softly, leaning back against the porch railing.  This month she’d been working hard as one of the many farm hands getting the ground ready for the next planting.  It paid well even though the hours sucked. She should be in bed right now but the itch to hear Deanna’s voice was too much.

 

“I’m not mad, Ben...just, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you and I know you need to work, I understand that but it’s just  _ hard _ being here every day without you,” Deanna confessed, feeling as if maybe she’d let a little  _ too much _ slip. She didn’t want to guilt Beni into being around more, she wanted her to want it enough for herself that she made it happen. 

 

“I know what you mean.  It’s fucking lonely out here,” Beni said, swallowing down the lump in her throat.  She’d been drifting for last several years and never once had it bothered her until she met Deanna.  Now she had all sort of crazy ideas and dreams of settling down. It was terrifying and thrilling all in the same.  

 

There was a shout next to her and she rolled her eyes, “Oh go fuck off Masters,” Beni groaned.

 

“What? It’s time for bed Lafitte, get your ass off the porch,” Meg growled out before stomping into the guest house that they all shared.

 

“Ugh, I’m gettin real tired of this early night bullshit,” Beni said.

 

_ “Doesn’t sound lonely, _ ” Deanna said bitterly, and then immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that I just...I miss you, Beni. I miss you and it hurts that there are all these other people in your life that get to spend more time with you than I do.” 

 

“Sweetheart…” Beni swallowed hard again and got up on her feet to pace a little, “These people...I just work with them.  We’re not friends, I barely even talk to them unless it’s about what we’re doin for that day. I miss you so god damn much,” she said, “Listen, I was gonna wait to tell you when I had enough but...I’m trying to save up.  So I can move permanently to Lebanon,” she said softly.

 

It was sweet, but also stupid. Deanna didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Her ridiculous girl going through all this struggle, and for no damn reason as far as she was concerned. “Beni...you can stay with me, why do you need to save up for that? I mean, yeah you need to find a job or whatever but all I ever wanted was for you to just..to  _ stay _ .” 

 

Beni laughed softly, “Cher, I love your apartment but it’s a lil small.  I-I was thinking maybe...we could look at houses or something?” she asked nervously.  It was such a huge step for her, not only settling down but jumping into a relationship and then moving in together after only knowing each other for a couple of months?  She was well aware of just how easily this could crash and burn. 

 

“Oh…” Deanna hadn’t really thought about it. Sure, the apartment wasn’t much but having Beni in her pocket never felt suffocating or like it was too much. Though, she guessed maybe if it was longer than a few days at a time that might be a bit much, if not for her, then for Beni. “If you want your own place that’s okay...you don’t have to-, I mean it  _ is _ small for two people I guess.” 

 

“No, Dee….that’s…” Beni groaned with frustration.  This was why she wanted to wait to tell her in person, the phone was too impersonal and she couldn’t cup Deanna’s face like she wanted to.

 

“Baby, I  _ want _ to live with you.  I just want something bigger so I don’t feel like I’m knocking everything over all the time,” Beni laughed remembering her first visit at Dee’s house.  Several things had found their way to the floor but thankfully a cheap photo frame was the only casualty, “And I kinda wanna get a dog...at some point.”

 

“So you’re what...you’re gonna stay there and work until you have enough money to  _ buy a house? _ ” Deanna asked, feeling a thrill of hope straightening her back, but she was mostly just disappointed. “That’s going to take forever, Ben...houses are expensive, even a down payment would be thousands and thousands of dollars, that could take years.” 

 

“Well, it’s a good thing I’ve been saving all my money for years then huh?  Haven’t exactly been spending it on anything except for my bike and now you,” Beni said, a little of her own bitterness spiking through.

 

“I-I don’t wanna argue with you on the phone right now.  I gotta get to bed and we can talk more when I get there on Friday okay?” Beni said, her voice losing it’s mask and she sounded exhausted even to her own ears.

 

“Yeah, okay...Friday I guess,” Deanna said, feeling the tears string at the edge of her eyes. How was she supposed to know the girl had a small fortune saved up. Even if she did, Deanna had nothing. Sure, she could maybe scrape together a few hundred if necessary but she  _ hadn’t _ been saving for years. She made enough at the diner to cover her rent, food when she felt like shopping, and some other small treats for herself but she couldn’t afford half a damn downpayment on a house and she wasn’t sure she was comfortable letting Beni  _ buy _ her a house.

 

She sighed and fell back on her bed, letting the emotion overwhelm her until she finally drifted off into a restless sleep.

 

* * *

  
  


Deanna had been grumpy for the last few days, every minute drawing nearer to Beni usually pumped her up and made her excited. But ever since their fight it had been difficult to think of anything, let alone the  _ talk _ that was coming. Her mind ran through a million possibilities of what would happen and none of them good. She imagined Beni going through the trouble of just dropping in to break up with her about thirty different ways, she wasn’t sure if those were the worst ones or if they were the ones where Beni came through town making everything okay again only to leave again and again. 

 

She shook her head, she knew she wouldn’t be able to shake the thoughts for long but thankfully she had enough work to keep her busy for the next few hours. 

 

Beni sat on her bike in the parking lot for what felt like hours.  The small argument they had was completely stupid and where she should have called Deanna the very next day to apologize, she chickened out.  She didn’t want to hear her girlfriend breaking up with her over the phone. If that shit was gonna happen it would be in person. 

 

Takin in another deep breath, she swallowed down her pride and climbed off the bike, plucking up a dozen roses out of the cooler she had strapped to the back.  They were a dark blood red and were just starting to open up.

 

She entered the diner slowly, hesitating at the door when she saw Deanna hustling as usual.  Beni didn’t move, not wanting to draw attention to herself but it didn’t help. The moment she took a breath Deanna’s eyes zeroed in on her and Beni’s tongue got lodged in her throat.

 

“Ben…” Dee said, whisper-soft on her lips. She felt her whole body start to tremble as she looked at the gorgeous woman before her, red roses in hand. It was romantic and sweet and probably more than she deserved.

 

Deanna sat the coffee down on the counter and pulled her apron off, “I’m leaving early,” she called to the back, not hesitating even a moment before pushing herself in against Beni’s warm, muscled body. “I’m so sorry, Ben...I-I’m just so sorry.” 

 

Beni hugged around Deanna tightly, burying her face against her neck and shoulder.  The sweet citrus scent that clung to her had a sigh leaving her lips, “Shh, it’s...we’ll talk about it once we get back to your place,” she said looking around.  Everyone was friendly in this town and accepted people like Beni with open arms, which had been insanely weird at first, but Beni didn’t want to air out their dirty laundry in front of all of them.

 

“C’mon,” she said and gently took Deanna’s hand.  They were at the bike when Beni remembered the stupid flowers in her hand, her face flushing as she handed them to Deanna, “Missed you so much cher.”

 

“I missed you too and...I don’t want to sound ungrateful or anything, these are...they’re beautiful and probably the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me but Beni, you know I don’t need this stuff right? I don’t need you to buy me anything or spoil me,” she said, chewing at her lip a little. “I know you love doing it and that’s nice but after our fight I realized just how much money you’ve spent on me in the last few months and I just-I had to say something because I don’t need all of that, you’re enough Beni, you’re enough for me, I don’t need anything else.”

 

“That...that was a dick move on my part.  I shouldn’t have said that,” Beni sighed, opening her arms and whispered a thanks to whoever was watching when Deanna pressed in against her, “I know you don’t need it cher but like you said, I enjoy spoiling you,” she said and kissed the top of Deanna’s head as one of her hands began to play with the ends of her blonde hair.

 

“No I know, I know you weren’t complaining about it or anything I’m just saying that I’m just as happy staying in, making dinner, watching movies, talking, things we can do for free. I mean sure, if we hit the lottery or something you can go crazy on me but,” Deanna huffed out her frustration, nothing was coming out the right way. “All I’m saying is that this right here,” she said, taking Beni’s hand in hers. “This is the only thing that matters to me.” 

 

Beni brought their hands to her mouth, kissing the back of Deanna’s before leaning in some more to nuzzle at her temple, “Me too sweetheart.  Let’s go to your place and I can make you some dinner,” she said and quickly quieted Deanna’s next argument with a kiss, “I want to cher, please?”

 

“Okay, but we’ll have to stop at the store first...I haven’t been eating at home the last couple days,” she said, before climbing onto Beni’s bike.  _ “And you’ll let me pay, right?” _

 

Beni laughed softly and nodded, “Sure.”

 

The trip to the store took much longer than Beni thought it would.  Mostly it was them reveling in the domesticity of grocery shopping together.  It was silly but the more Beni thought about it the giddier she got that this could be a regular thing now.  More than once she would catch Deanna’s hand and kiss her fingers or even try to steal a peck or two as the girl passed by her.

 

Somehow they managed to get everything packed away on Beni’s bike and she turned it towards Deanna’s apartment.  All at once the last remaining tendrils of stress in Beni’s shoulders melted away. The place was small sure but it still felt more like  _ home _ than any place in her past ever had.  Biting her lip she moved up behind Deanna and hugged around her, “I do like your place darlin.”

 

“I know, but you were right too, it’s not really big enough for us both...not for more than a little while at least,” Deanna said, grateful for the comfort of Beni at her back. “I like it, it’s been a good place for me but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spread out a little either.” 

 

Beni nodded and pressed a kiss to Deanna’s shoulder before moving around her to start up a simple casserole, “I want us to look together if you want to of course.  It doesn’t have to be a house,” she said and then quickly added as her cheeks flushed a bit, “They’re building a new complex a few miles out where they’re like apartments that stand alone.”

 

“I’m not picky, Beni. I’m an easy girl to please, whatever you like is okay with me too. I just want you to be happy here,” she admitted, hopping up on the counter to watch. “I’m not just saying that either, I mean this place isn’t much but it’s enough for just me, anything more than that is just  _ extra _ .” 

 

Beni nodded and fed some salami to her girlfriend, “I know.  We can go look at them tomorrow after we get up. I just wanna spend the night with my girl,” she said with a bright smile.

 

“Yours, huh? I wasn’t sure…” Deanna said, feeling painfully exposed. “I mean I thought, maybe-but you’re gone so much and we never talked about it…” 

 

Beni frowned, putting down her knife to move closer to Deanna.  She cupped the girl’s face and kissed her softly, “Seems I messed up all around,” she laughed softly, “Would you want that though?  To be my girl?” she asked, dragging her thumb across Deanna’s cheek.

 

“Of course, and you didn’t do anything wrong we just...we haven’t talked about it.” Deanna brushed her own hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear before pulling Beni in for a quick peck of their lips. “I don’t know about you but I was, I  _ am _ a little scared to. I’ve never felt like this for someone before Ben and I’m not sure what to do with that, y’know? I mean I wouldn’t trade it for the world but there’s a lot of lines we could be crossing or jumping or playing double dutch with for all I know, but that’s just it...  _ I don’t know _ .” 

 

“I know what you mean.  I’ve been drifting from place to place for years now.  Didn’t know how to Deanna settle down, the very thought of it made me nauseous.  Then I met you and everything changed. Now the idea of even leaving makes me sick to my stomach.  “I really, really like you Deanna and would love to see where this goes with you,” she said, gently brushing some of Deanna’s hair back.  The nerves from earlier were back but she refused to hide behind them. 

 

“Then let’s do it, let’s just  _ be  _ together and see what happens…” Deanna hugged Beni to her chest and buried her nose in the crook of Beni’s strong neck. The girl still had plenty of feminine curve to her but she was also strong, hard muscle from working her ass off for what seemed to have been most of her life. 

 

“Mmm, sounds good to be me cher,” Beni hummed, turning her head to kiss at Deanna’s shoulder, “God I missed your hugs,” she groaned, pulling her girlfriend until her legs were wrapped around Beni’s waist.

 

“I missed  _ you _ ,” Deanna answered, squeezing a bit tighter and rolling her hips against Beni for friction. It felt amazing but it wasn’t enough, Deanna wanted to strip her down and really get to feel all that delicious soft skin and taut muscle pressing against her. 

 

Beni grinned and pulled Deanna closer, “Oh I missed you too cher,” she said brushing her hands up the sides of Deanna’s shirt, “I can take you to bed now and eat later or I can finish dinner,” she said leaning in to nibble along Deanna’s neck.

 

The suggestion of going to bed wasn’t lost on Deanna, she  _ wanted _ so much when it came to Beni that it was hard to focus on anything beyond that need until it was so wonderfully satisfied by the woman herself. 

 

“Or...you can take me to bed  _ and _ you can eat now,” Deanna said, her smile widening until her cheeks felt stretched. She moaned as Beni teased her throat with a sharp string of teeth. She squirmed a bit as her body responded to the sinful nips at her skin that drove her wild. 

 

“Well now, how can I say no to that?  Dessert first it is,” Beni laughed, picking Deanna up off the counter.  She carried her girlfriend down the short hallway to the bedroom and kicked at the door to get it halfway closed.

 

Beni dropped her down on the bed and instantly knelt down on the carpet in front of her, “Have I told you lately how unbelievably sexy and beautiful you are,” she said taking off Deanna’s boots.

 

“Not today,” Deanna said, chuckling a bit as she pulled her cami over her head. Her bra was next, just undoing the clasp on it felt like a precursor to orgasm, the underwire had been digging in for hours and it was a relief to be rid of it. She’d reached down for the button of her jeans but Beni had finally got her boots off and those warm calloused hands reached up to stop her. “Okay, but hurry, I’m dying here.” 

 

“Oh you’re not going to rush me darlin, I’m taking my time with you,” Beni grinned, kissing at each of Deanna’s knees before slowly pulling down her pants, tossing them over her shoulder to land with a slap to the ground.  

 

“Mmm, I love it when you wear the lacey ones,” Beni smirked, leaning in to kiss at her lips through the satin panties.  Beni fought the urge to rub her face against her like a damn cat, instead she nipped at the insides of her thighs.

 

“Fuck, Beni I-” Deanna groaned, those beautiful lips were too far away from where she needed them. She pulled gently at the short spikes of Beni’s beautiful dark hair. “Please, I-it’s been so long, I need you,” she begged, her hips rolling, the urgency in her body making itself clear.

 

“I’m gonna take care of you baby girl, don’t you worry,” she said and peeled of Deanna’s panties.  The sight of her already wet for her had Beni shuddering. Gently she put Deanna’s legs over her shoulders and dove in.  She kept it light at first, wanting to tease until her girlfriend was sobbing. Her tongue traced at her slit, tempting more of Deanna’s slick out to coat her tongue.

 

“God you taste so fucking good,” Beni growled, spreading her open with two fingers and flicked at her clit teasingly. 

 

Deanna grunted out her appreciation, it felt too good for words, she knew it wouldn’t take long before Beni sent her over the edge. She would sometimes touch herself, thinking of the beautiful woman but for the most part she’d abstained during their time apart, now she was a needy, clingy mess and she begged for more of the sinful tongue and long talented fingers that were always one touch away from allowing her release.

 

Beni kept her eyes glued on Deanna’s face as she sucked slow but hard on her clit as her fingers began to tease at her hole.  She was soaked at this point and Beni wanted to drink her all up but she wasn’t quite finished with her teasing. Deanna was absolutely beautiful when she was desperate and Beni craved to hear it in her voice.  

 

Deanna had been so close to the edge, panting and moaning shamelessly, her body craving just a little more and then Beni had backed off like a damn sadist. “Ben, please...I need, I need it,” she begged, her body shaking from the pent-up frustration growing in her gut. 

 

Beni hummed, there it was, “You beg so pretty baby,” she said and slowly slid in two fingers, knowing her girlfriend’s body was more than willing.  She pretended to look around for that special spot inside and loved the way Deanna’s legs didn’t know whether to spread wider or tighten around Beni’s head.  Just as she “found” that spot, Beni sucked hard on her clit and became relentless as she massaged her two fingers hard against her.

 

“Oh, oh fuck, oh, Beni, Beni, Ahhh” Dee’s breath hitched in her throat and her body locked up tight in preparation for release. Pleasure twisted out from her core and Deanna writhed in ecstasy as her orgasm spilled into Beni’s waiting mouth. Satisfaction swelled in her as the waves of pleasure grew smaller and smaller until her release finally ended. 

 

“Mmm, that’s it baby,” Beni cooed, lapping at her hole to get more of her taste.  When the tremors quieted she sucked Deanna off her fingers and crawled up to hover over her, “Feel better darlin?” she asked with a shit eating grin.

 

“Mmm, c’mere,” Deanna said, her voice a bit softer than usual because she just didn’t have the energy to speak up in that moment. Beni was too far away though, she wanted to taste and wanted to fuel her girlfriend’s release as well. She licked and sucked her own taste from Beni’s mouth and groaned at how indulgent and sinful it made her feel. “You too, wanna make you cum.” 

 

“Please do,” Beni growled out, her fingers diving into Deanna’s hair to keep her there as she rolled them over so Deanna was now on top.  A knee slotted between Beni’s thighs and she groaned, rolling her hips down, “Dreamed about you every night sweetheart, my roommate wanted to suffocate me in my sleep,” she grinned.

 

Deanna quickly got to work on the button of Beni’s pants, pushing her hand under the warm fabric as soon as she was able. She left the pants pulled up mostly but Beni was quickly bucking against her palm and her wetness responded in kind. 

 

“Show me, show me how badly you wanted me Beni,” Deanna said, her voice a bit raspier now that she was trying to speak up, wanted her girl to hear her wrecked vocal chords. “Show me you needed me, that you haven’t been able to cum without thinking of me, dreaming of me, show me now.” 

 

“Fuck cher,” Beni moaned, her back arching off the bed.  Her knees bent up so she could thrust her hips down against Deanna’s hand a bit more, “God there...there were nights I couldn’t even get off until I heard your voice,” she whined, her hand going down to press down on Deanna’s, “Ungh fuck please.”

 

Deanna moved her fingers deeper, giving Beni that stretch she was craving. They hadn’t discussed adding toys or anything like that, though Dee was hell-bent on getting Beni to fuck her with a strap-on, the mere thought of Beni’s hard muscle slamming into her from behind had her had brought her off time and time again. “Cmon, Beni. Cum for me, sweetheart.” 

 

Beni’s toes were curled and her head thrown back when those clever fingers inside of her twisted just the right way.  She cried out Deanna’s name as she came with a deep shudder, “Oooh fuck yes, mmm,” she moaned, licking her lips as Deanna’s fingers slowed but didn’t pull out right away, “Felt so good baby.”

 

“You feel good, you feel perfect,” Deanna answered, leaning down to claim her lover’s lips. It felt like comfort and warmth and home. Their kisses had always been a little  _ too _ good to be real but now they were talking about long-term plans, buying a house, spending their lives together and Deanna felt as if part of her was there, something clicking into place that filled her up with happiness and settled the hollow ache that had been in her gut for most of her life. 

 

Beni gently rolled them over again so that they were on their sides and pulled away slowly, “I need to get out of these clothes,” she laughed getting up from the bed to strip.  A smile crept over her face as the felt the familiar tingling sensation that someone was watching her. She looked over her shoulder and sure enough, Deanna was staring at her with an unabashed hunger that made Beni flush a bit.  

 

She grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and ran it under some warm water to clean herself up and then after rinsing it out she brought it to Deanna.  She was gentle and slow with cleaning her up, kissing at her shoulders and chest before throwing the cloth to the floor, “We’re gonna snuggle for a bit and then I’m gonna make dinner cause I’m actually hungry,” she laughed, kissing at Deanna’s lips, “Then I’m having seconds on dessert.”

 

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” 

 

* * *

  
  


Beni straightened her vest nervously as she tried to not shift from one foot to the other.  This whole, interview process was ridiculous and Beni was not used to it. There was a high-class LBGT centered bar that had just opened in Lebanon and Beni jumped at the chance to have something steady.  For the past month, the jumping between jobs wasn’t fun anymore. 

 

“Laffite, you’re up.”

 

Beni took in a deep breath and stepped inside the office.  It took all of forty-five minutes but when she left the building it was with a spring in her step.  The manager liked her look and had been impressed with Beni’s over all knowledge of tending bar. She was pretty confident she got the job.

 

Beni pulled up her phone and bit her lip.  Deanna was probably at work now but she tried to call her girlfriend anyway.

 

Deanna moved through the room easily, it wasn’t exactly crowded yet. The lunch rush would come through soon and then she’d be in for it but for now, it was just Bobby and his three-hour cup of coffee and some business meeting happening in the back corner. She moved her hips to the music Ellen had played through the speakers but was interrupted when her phone started shaking in her pocket. 

 

“Hey, how’d it go?” she asked, knowing Beni had been nervous about the interview, even though Deanna was more than confident in her girlfriend's abilities. 

 

“I think I got it!” Beni laughed running her fingers through her short hair.  It was a little stiff from the gel she had put in it to get to tame the fuck down but she’d be taking a shower the minute she got home, “The manager, Pamela, liked my look and my sense of humor so I guess that’s a win.  Oh and I think she hit on me too,” she laughed shaking her head as she swung her leg over her bike but didn’t turn it on just yet.

 

Deanna growled, a low angry noise in her throat. “If she does it again there won’t be enough of her left to hold the deed,” she said lowly, mostly to herself but when she looked up to see Ellen with a raised brow, she knew that Beni wasn’t the only one who’d heard.  

 

“Calm down babe,” Beni chuckled, “I think she’s just a big flirt, it wasn’t personal.  She was damn near ecstatic when I told her about you,” she grinned.

 

“You did? You told her about me?” Deanna asked, still somehow surprised and flattered that Beni made their relationship public knowledge. Lebanon wasn’t exactly New York City, but she still felt like shouting it from the rooftops and it made little butterflies in her stomach when she was given any sign that Beni felt the same. 

 

“Yeah, she brought up some dude named Jesse and regrets and I told her I didn’t have any of those but I did have a beautiful girl I call Dee,” Beni said, laughing a little at herself.  How Deanna put up with her she was still trying to figure that one out.

 

“Come to the diner, I’ll make us some lunch before the rush hits and if we’re really lucky, Ellen will let us make out like teenagers over a milkshake,” Deanna teased, her pulse picking up at the thought that Beni would be there soon. 

 

“Of course.  I’ll be there soon cher,” she said, the  _ I love you _ on the tip of her tongue.  When Deanna responded she hung up and sighed.  She was such a coward but this time she could blame not wanting to say it over the phone for the first time.  Revving the bike, she steered towards the diner and parked in her usual spot that Ellen had joked that she was gonna put a sign up reserving it for her for life.  

 

She took off her helmet just before stepping into the place and grunted as a body slammed into hers, “Hey baby,” Beni chuckled, kissing at her temple.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” she said, though it didn’t take much. She was proud of Beni for nothing more than living the life she had with the hand she’d been dealt. Deanna thought her origin story was rough but it was nothing compared to Beni’s. “Also, you’re mine and I swear I will mark you up every night you work if I have to.” 

 

Beni barked out a laugh, “May as well tattoo ‘Deanna’s property’ on my ass and call it a day,” she grinned, leaning in to kiss her softly.  There was a shout of get a room that she was guessing was from either Ellen or Jo, she wasn’t sure.

 

“Your ass wouldn’t be visible behind the bar,” Deanna grumbled but didn’t suggest the forehead like she thought. Her sour thoughts only eased by the warm taste of Beni’s kiss. 

 

“C’mon, you promised me some lunch and I’m hungry.”

 

“I made burgers,” Dee laughed, pulling her girlfriend in through the doors and back to a booth along the side where their plates were already waiting.

 

“Oh hell yeah,” Beni grinned, yanking Deanna close so she could kiss her, “Now all that nervous energy is gone, I’m starving,” she laughed and sat down, pulling Deanna to sit next to her instead of across.

 

“Then eat, you dork...we can talk once you’ve fed yourself,” Deanna promised, a little eager to enjoy her own food. It was rare she got on the grill at the diner but she was always grateful that she had with the first bite of her own recipes. 

 

Beni stole another kiss before digging in.  Both of them could cook and Beni was grateful that she had such a strict work out routine that she was able to stay in shape.  When she downed the last bit of her burger she whined pathetically, “Over too soon,” she laughed giving her girlfriend a sad look.

 

“You want me to have Ash throw you another one on the grill? It won’t be mine but it would be good,” Deanna teased before she sucked on the milkshake straw and winked at her girlfriend. 

 

“Nah, I’m good sweetheart,” she said popping a fry into her mouth, “Can I have some of that?” she asked looking at the milkshake.

 

“Knock yourself out,” she said, sliding what was left of the milkshake over until it was in front of Beni again. Sighing, she could feel Ellen’s eyes on the back of her neck. She kissed softly at her girlfriend’s cheek before sliding out of the booth, “I have to get back to work but I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”

 

“Of course, c’mere,” she said and gently pulled Deanna in to kiss her fully on the mouth, “Love you baby,” she said and turned back to her milkshake.

 

“You too,” she said distractedly, reaching down into her apron for the pen and pad she kept there before getting back to work. 

 

“What’ll it be today, Mr. Jenkins? Garlic chicken or maybe some of that stew Miss Ellen made yesterday?” Deanna asked, knowing damn well the man would get the chicken. Just like every other blasted time he came through the door. She’d been trying for three years to get the old man to order something else,  _ anything _ else. 

 

Beni finished off the milkshake and left a twenty on the table for a tip before raising up from the booth.  She waved to a few people as she headed to the door, a smile pulling at her lips as she watched Deanna work for a second.  Then it hit her square in the chest.

 

She’d just told her she loved her.  And Deanna didn’t really react to it.  She felt the color drain from her face and quickly bolted from the diner.  Maybe, hopefully Deanna just hadn’t exactly heard her and Beni could pretend she never said it.

 

Ellen watched the girl bolt out of the diner and frowned.  That usually wasn’t how someone reacted after telling their significant other they loved them.  Then again, Deanna was acting as if nothing had happened. Ellen shrugged and waited for Deanna to come closer before handing over two pitchers of bud.

 

“So uh, not the first time you’ve heard that then?” she asked.

 

“Huh? Heard what?” Deanna asked, adding the grilled chicken ticket to the rack. 

 

Ellen stared at her and laughed a little, “The whole, love you thing,” she said.

 

Deanna blinked a few times and then suddenly it was like she was hit square in the chest with a bullet. “I-I-I-,” she stammered, Beni had said she loved her, Benni had said she loved her and Deanna had said  _ you too _ , “Fuck.”

 

Deanna rushed to get her phone out of her pocket and quickly tapped on Beni’s name in her recent calls, biting her lip as the ringing sound became more and more distant from her ears.

 

Beni felt the phone in her pocket go off and cursed.  It took a minute to find a place to pull over. When she finally managed to pull the stupid thing out she saw a missed call from Deanna.  She swallowed nervously and called her back.

 

Deanna felt something dark twist in her stomach when Beni didn’t answer even though she knew Beni would never answer the phone while she was on her bike. Still...it hurt.

 

She shook her head and started over toward the couple in the back when she felt the buzzing in her pocket. She hesitated for just a moment but then kept walking. Whatever it is they needed to talk about, they could do it after her shift. When they were face to face. 

 

* * *

  
  


Dee’s feet were aching by the time she finished her shift. Even years of practice and the most comfortable shoes didn’t make it any less awful, not to mention Ellen was insistent that she sit down on her breaks and take care of herself. She wanted nothing more than to go home and have a long soak and then cuddle with her beautiful girlfriend. 

 

It was only then she remembered the tension building between them and their missed calls. 

 

_ Message to Beni: _ I’ll be home soon and then we can talk.

 

Beni stared at the message and felt her stomach knot painfully.  All her calls had been ignored and at first, Beni had been worried that something happened but now she was realizing it was because Deanna didn’t want to talk to her yet.  Confusion and hurt swirled around in her chest and she was trying to keep her calm. It wasn’t working though. She busied herself around the apartment, making sure the dishes were cleaned and even set up a little station to rub her girlfriend’s feet later.  Even that hadn’t taken nearly enough time. Now she sat against the chair arm, thumbnail being gnawed on as she watched the minute hand tick by on their clock.

 

Deanna sat in her baby for a few minutes, just taking in a couple deep breaths. 

 

_ What if she didn’t mean it? _

_ What if she expects me to say it back? _

_ Can I say it back? Do I love her? _

 

The answer felt like yes far too quickly for her to poke into it any further.

 

_ “I love you, I-love you Beni. Beni, I love you…”  _ she practiced, though mostly it just felt awkward. Still, Beni might not have meant to say what she did but it didn’t make Deanna’s feelings any less real. 

 

She walked through the front door, tossing her keys on the table she kept there before pulling at her shoes until her aching feet were a little more comfortable. “I’m home,” she said, moving toward the kitchen where she usually found her girlfriend. Surprised to see she wasn’t there, Deanna moved past the small wall dividing the kitchen and the living room and smiled as her heart leaped from the sight of Beni leaned against the couch.

 

“Hey Dee,” Beni said, a timid smile pulling at her lips as she stood.  It didn’t look like her girlfriend was angry or upset but Beni was still nervous, “I um...I got all set up if you wanted me to rub your feet tonight,” she said pointing to the coffee table.

 

Deanna melted, her beautiful, perfect girlfriend was painfully shy and nervous and still somehow so damn earnest and sweet. “I love you, Beni,” she said, the words not sticking even the slightest bit in her throat. They were warm and full of the sincerity she felt in that moment, in several of their moments together. 

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention earlier. I’m sorry that we didn’t get the chance to celebrate it the way we should have but make no mistake,” she said, slowly stalking forward until she was less than an inch away from her beautiful love. “You are mine and I love you.” 

 

Beni felt all the tension that had been building up in her chest whoosh out of her on her next exhale.  Hearing Deanna say that had all kinds of emotions bubbling within her, happiness, excitement all of which had tears brimming at her eyes.  She quickly wrapped her arms tightly around Deanna and let out a shaky breath, “Thank God,” she whispered.

 

“If you were that worried I haven’t been doing a very good job of making sure you know how much I care about you,” Deanna said softly, “How about instead of taking care of me tonight, we take care of you, huh?”

 

She kissed softly at her lover’s lips. “Let me show you just how much I love you, Beni,” 

 

Beni moaned softly, hugging Deanna close as they kissed.  It wasn’t until she felt Deanna flinch that she pulled back a little, “Sweetheart, you  _ do _ show me.  I’m just an insecure bastard sometimes.  Let me rub your feet and then you can spend the rest of the night spoiling me however much you want okay?” she said gently brushing Deanna’s hair back to kiss her neck.

 

“Well if you insist…” Deanna grinned, always eager to have her girl’s hands on her, even if it was her feet,  _ especially _ if it was her feet. She didn’t have a foot thing or anything but her Beni had given her some foot rubs that were damn near better than sex. 

 

“I wanna talk while you do it though, I don’t-I feel like no matter how much I know about you, it’s never enough,” she added, putting her feet into the small tub Beni had pulled out of somewhere and filled with warm water and something that smelled deliciously like vanilla.

 

“What makes you dress the way you do? I mean obviously I’m not complaining, I love the look you have, how much you stand out, but I’m curious…” Dean said, slowly letting her eyes drift closed as Beni started to wash her feet. “Is it just a love of the style and cuts or is it something deeper? Do you like feeling more masculine?” 

 

Beni chuckled, “A little bit of all of that,” She said and started rubbing at Deanna’s calves as the vibrations of the tub started, “I did the whole...girly thing.  Long hair, dresses, pink make-up the works. My foster mom did not put up with a gender not dressing their part. I was always jealous of the boys though, they always got to wear jeans where I was stuck in stupid skirts that didn’t allow me to run or climb trees,” she grinned.  She shut the tub off and moved to sit on the couch to start massage into the balls of Deanna’s feet.

 

“I snuck out one night when I was like, thirteen and because I was so tall, managed to get into a gay club.  The bouncer wasn’t paying attention and I managed to sneak in with a group of other women. Anyway, there were others there dressed in suits, short cropped hair.  One had tattoos all over the place and that’s when it really stuck with me. So, I went home and took Brenda’s favorite sewing scissors and cut all my damn hair off,” Beni snickered.

 

“I bet she just loved that,” Deanna grinned, before allowing her girlfriend to finish her story. 

 

“Oh yeah.  Beat the shit out of me too.  I didn't know what pissed her off more, the fact that I used her scissors or that I no longer looked like her little princess,” Beni rolled her eyes, “I refused to change back to that though.  She stopped fighting me after a few years and that’s when I changed my name officially to Beni,” she explained and switched feet.

 

“I’ve always felt more comfortable in a more masculine style, even jobs.  I just...I have nothing against women who like to primp and get all pretty,” Beni grinned tickling at Deanna’s feet, “But that was never for me.”

 

“But you’re happy with being a woman, right? I mean you’ve never made it seem like an issue or anything, not that it matters to me in the least,” Deanna said quickly, she was afraid her inquisitive nature would push the line a little too far. She didn’t want Beni to think that any of it mattered to her. Beni could be a girl a boy anything between or outside of that. She just wanted someone to make her feel the way only Beni could. 

 

“To be honest, I thought for a bit there that maybe I was.  Then I had an actual, very lengthy conversation with a fully transitioned female to male.  They helped me realize that I wasn’t, that I am very much still a woman, enjoy being a woman...just like to dress more boyish.  That’s also when I learned what Butch Dyke meant,” Beni laughed, shaking her head a bit as she went back to the first foot to start on her heels.  There was a loud moan and Beni grinned, patting herself on the back for releasing some of the pain in her girlfriend’s foot. 

 

“Ungh fuck, that feels amazing,” Deanna groaned. She lost her train of thought or a few beats but eventually got back to it. “So what else do you like about being masculine? Bet you’d look fucking amazing with a strap-on cock,” Deanna said, “Is that something you’re into? It’s okay if you’re not, just curious.” 

 

Beni blushed deep but nodded, “Yeah. I uh...I actually have one,” she stammered.

 

Deanna’s eyes snapped open as a grin split wide on her lips. “You’ve been holding out on me Beni.” 

 

“I like it...what else do you like huh? Maybe you’d like it if I called you daddy?” she asked, chuckling at the lovely pink shade to Beni’s cheeks when she said it. 

 

“Fucking hell cher,” Beni groaned, her fingers digging in a little too tight and then found herself surging forward to crash their lips together.  No one had ever called her that. The closest it ever got to was someone calling her sir and even that had her wet in seconds. Now though, hearing Deanna utter that one word and her panties were damn near instantly soaked.  She pushed her way between Deanna’s legs and kissed her hard, “You want me to fuck you baby girl?” she asked, nipping at her bottom lip.

 

“Fuck yes,” Beni had gone from sweet, loving girlfriend to a sex goddess in a blink of an eye. Deanna’s body reacted immediately and she craved more of that fire in her lover. “Want you inside me, want to feel you daddy,” Dee moaned, Beni’s fingers pushing her skirt higher. 

 

“Not here, c’mon,” Beni growled out and practically threw Deanna over her shoulder to carry her into their bedroom.  Once inside she tossed her girlfriend onto the bed and quickly snatched up her hands, “You can only take off your shirt,” she ordered and proceeded to take off her own clothes.

 

Deanna quickly unbuttoned her over shirt and pulled the light cami she wore underneath of that over her head. She wanted to go for her bra but Beni had been clear and as much as she might want to test the waters with disobedience, it wasn’t the time for that.

 

Instead, she waited patiently for her beautiful girl to finish stripping. She licked her lips at the soft curves and hard muscle of Beni’s body, feeling herself growing more and more turned on with every bit of skin that was displayed. “Ungh fuck you’re hot. “

 

“Mm, so are you baby,” Beni said biting down on her lip as Deanna leaned back on the bed, “Spread your le- yeah like that ungh,” she groaned as Deanna’s legs bent up and spread open, revealing her panties under her skirt that had a nice wet patch on them.  Beni licked her lips and stared at her girlfriend for a good few minutes. Deanna was the definition of perfection for Beni. Soft but yet toned curves, tattoos on her shoulders, hair long and pulled up into a ponytail. And that fucking smile with those glittering eyes.  Beni couldn’t help it and touch herself a little, her pussy aching at just the sight of her.

 

‘You have no idea what you do to me sweetheart,” she said a bit breathlessly.

 

“Oh yeah?” Deanna asked, though her stomach always swooped a bit when Beni complimented her or gave her that look, the one that made her feel like she was something special. “Well I remember someone promising to take care of me and right now, what I need...is a really good fuck. So you gonna get your toy out and do that for me, Daddy? Or do I need to take care of it myself?” 

 

Beni smirked, “Don’t make me tie you up and spank you,” she warned.

 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Deanna said, feeling a bit mischievous at the promise of such tantalizing punishments. 

 

“Definitely going to have to explore that later,” Beni grinned, turning towards her portion of the dresser, “Maybe strap you down with my leather cuffs and bring you to the edge over and over again.  Then if you’re good, I’ll let you cum as I spank you,” Beni hummed pulling out a shoebox from under her shirts. She didn’t have very many toys but her favorite was her strap on. It was a simple one made of leather with a long, thick dark blue dildo attached to it.  

 

She got it on and tied comfortably before turning back to her girlfriend to show her.

 

Deanna never imagined there was a sight of Beni that could be any better than her beautiful girlfriend stripped bare in front of her but fuck if she hadn’t proved her wrong. The dildo itself was a little larger than she’d expected but she knew Beni would make sure that she was ready before doing anything with it, still...her mouth watered at the thoughts of being split open on it.

 

“Fuck… yes, I need that inside me like yesterday, Shame on me for thinking you couldn’t possibly get any hotter.” 

 

Beni grinned and slowly walked over to the bed, her hands instantly going to Deanna’s knees to drag her palms up her thighs, hiking her skirt up a bit higher.  She hooked her fingers through Deanna’s panties and pulled them off slowly, letting them drop to the floor.

 

“I could say the same about you baby girl, gonna fuck you with this skirt on,” Beni groaned. She dragged her knuckles across Deanna’s clit and smirked when Deanna’s hips bucked off the bed.

 

“God yes, please Beni,” Deanna muttered, the words falling like a prayer from her lips. She’d been satisfied, more than satisfied with the experiences they shared before but the thought of Beni ramming into her with a cock, real or fake, sounded fucking amazing. And once that opportunity had been opened to her she couldn’t focus on anything else, needed to be filled worse than ever before. 

 

Beni kept it up, just dragging her fingers or her palm over Deanna’s pussy until she was shuddering.  Her fingers were practically drenched from how eager her girlfriend was becoming and used that to spread over the dildo.  She’d use real lube when she was ready to push in but for now, she was still teasing. 

 

“You know what’s even more awesome about this?” she asked but didn’t wait for a response.  She turned on the vibration and began to circle it around Deanna’s clit, “Like that sweetheart?” she asked.

 

“Fuck,” Deanna squirmed a little but her body ached for more of the delightful sensation. She’d never been so wet so quickly but every touch from Beni was like a live wire and she didn’t dare try to curb the pleasure it brought out. “Yes, yes...daddy, please,” Deanna begged, as her body grew needy quickly. 

 

“That’s my girl, beg so pretty,” Beni damn near purred.  Hearing Deanna pleade with her, calling her Daddy lit a fire within her.  She wanted to give in, to hammer inside her girlfriend until she was screaming but she reigned it in, needing to prepare Deanna a bit more.  The dildo was not the smallest one out there and she would not rush through just to end up hurting Deanna. 

 

With one hand she kept the teasing circles, the other went to work spreading her open.  She started with two fingers, grinning at the guttural noise that Deanna made for her. Even through all the begging, Beni kept focus and soon had three fingers scissoring her open, “You ready for my cock baby girl?” she asked turning off the vibration and began to tap the tip of it right against Deanna’s hole.

 

“Please, please daddy,” Dee begged, her body arching off the bed whenever Beni pressed deeper than the tips of her fingers. She wanted more, needed to be filled up to the brim and the delightful toy hanging from her girlfriend's hips seemed like the perfect size to give her that. “I-I need, need you, need to be full, please Daddy.” 

 

Beni licked her girlfriend’s juices off her fingers and shuffled forward to bring Deanna’s legs over her own.  Deanna was so wet lube wasn’t needed as she started to push in, careful to watch her face for any discomfort. There was only one moment where she had to still and kiss Deanna deeply until she got a nod to keep going.

 

“Full enough for you baby girl?” she asked against her ear, giving a shallow roll of her hips.  With the way the strap on was positioned, any movement on Beni’s end would have it rub right against her own clit.  

 

“Yes, yes move, please move, I-I want to feel you moving inside me,” Deanna begged, clutching at Beni’s warm skin, slick with sweat. It hadn’t been long but the heat between them and that of the small room made every moment grow hotter. 

 

Beni nodded and rolled her hips slowly at first, both of them shuddering at the pleasure it created.  It didn’t take long for her to amp it up, to push into her girlfriend until the bed started to creak. She was getting close and knew Deanna wasn’t too far behind, “C’mon baby girl, cum on Daddy’s cock,” she growled out.  Her fingers were digging into Deanna’s hips as she pulled her hips down onto her cock. 

 

Deanna wasn’t modest when it came to her sexual past but nothing, no past lover could have possibly measured up to what she felt in that moment. It wasn’t just the delightful fullness she felt, or the ecstasy spinning in her veins, but it was  _ Beni _ , it was her lover, her love, her...everything. It was  _ everything _ , and that thought brought her the release she’d been aching to find.

 

Her muscles seized a bit as the rocking waves of orgasm rushed through her, her body rocking eagerly to chase the feeling until the last of it ebbed away. When it did she was left soaked and wrecked as if her body had been worked over for days in the best way possible. 

 

“C’mon daddy, cum for me.” 

 

Beni watched in awe as her girlfriend came undone beneath her and if hadn't been for that simple request she would have crashed right after.  She clung onto Deanna like she was her lifeline and rocked against her as her orgasm grew. There were teeth digging into her shoulder and she finally came with a shout, her entire body shuddering through it.

 

“Ungh, God...fuck,” she moaned, turning her head to catch Deanna’s lips in a lazy kiss.

 

Deanna’s body relaxed once she watched the end of her partner’s orgasm. She kissed back eagerly and pulled Beni closer until they were both on the bed, cuddled together, lips desperately seeking one another until the hum of satisfaction filled them both up. 

 

‘That was, wow...that was-fuck, it’s probably the best fuck I’ve ever had, Beni... _ ever. _ ” 

 

Beni blushed a little and tried to brush it off with a laugh, “That’s the endorphins talking,” she grinned, reaching down to start unbuckling the belt.

 

“Nope,” Deanna said, shaking her head eagerly. “Best  _ ever _ , I promise...though I think it might have a little something to do with who was fucking me,” she said, a small teasing hint to her voice and smile. 

 

“I would hope so,” she teased back, dropping the strap onto the floor.  She’d clean it later but for now, she pulled Deanna in closer and attacked her mouth, moaning as she bit and sucked her bottom lip until she knew it would be puffy.

 

“I fucking love you so much,” she said with a huge dopey smile.

 

“I love you too Beni,” Deanna answered, feeling just as ridiculously happy as her girlfriend looked.

  
  
  



End file.
